I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Farmville is her only friend.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
