in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
