sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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