dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
