We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
