pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
