Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
