i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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