Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
