It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We left an ass print on the piano.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
