you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Come share oat with me in your robe
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
