just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
