why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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