im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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