Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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