yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
