Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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