...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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