I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
