I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Can I color on your dick again?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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