under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I touched a dick in church today
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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