hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
