Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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