awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
