Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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