so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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