Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
kristin has been a bad kristin
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
