News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have post one night stand depression
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