dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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