his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
