just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
