Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
