Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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