Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
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