Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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