PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
