are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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