you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
