Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
