whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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