I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
