sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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