He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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