you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
