He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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