it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
