is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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