Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
