Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
