My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
