no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
