I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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