My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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