Having a random hookup so left but love u
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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